Aug 5

Aug 5 A Letter to My Husband on Our Ten-Year Wedding Anniversary

My dearest husband, Stuart,

For the last few days, I have spent some time thinking about my good fortune. I'm not referring to our finances and possessions. I have been reflecting upon how fortunate I am to be the woman that you chose to be your lifetime partner -- your wife.

Ten years ago today, in a little church in Ferndale, Washington, surrounded by family and friends, we took our vows to cherish and love one another for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. We didn't write our own vows. We were both 22 years old, and all that mattered to us was that we were committing ourselves to one another.

I'm sure some people had their doubts and concerns about the longevity of our marriage. But we have made it work. Your patience and respect for me as your equal partner is what, in my opinion, had made it work. Yes, it's love, but love can be so vague and generic. You've shown me your love by respecting my strengths and my weaknesses. You honor my past, are mindful of our present, and steadfastly work hard with me for our future. Instead of feeling threatened, you cheer me on to pursue my crazy ideas and vision.

For 10 years, we have been man and wife though never for a day did I feel disadvantaged because I'm the woman. We never assigned roles to each other especially ones based on gender. I suppose it is easier for us because we have no children. We simply take on tasks based on our individual strengths. You are also not afraid to try and learn new things. You were not turned off by all the weird Filipino things my family and I made you try. When we started out, you weren't even sure how to boil eggs. 😄 Now, you make the best lobster Mac & Cheese. On my part, I'm certainly more tech-savvy and aware of what's coming up in the tech world because you impressed upon me how technology can be fun. You also taught me that cars aren't just for commuting. Cars are exciting and a lot more nuanced than I thought. Because of you, I now say things like, "I can't wait to play Civilization VI with you!".

Today, I honor you and thank you for you have made me a better and stronger person. You bring out the best version of me. This year has especially been challenging with my health complications coupled with frustrations at work for you. But somehow, you still manage to be the much calm in the storm. You show me what love looks and feels like at its core and simplest form. Our marriage is love; it's our commitment as two individuals for one another. With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you, and I love you, Stuart.

Your wife,

Dafny